“I have a dating blog”
“Oh cool!! like Carrie Bradshaw!”
“Um… Who?”
“From Sex and The City? One of the greatest TV series of all time? Revolutionized TV by breaking taboos? 4 women over 30’s talking about their sex lives? You’re literally wearing a necklace with your name on it that’s an exact copy of hers from the show!”
*If I could have any superpower, I’d ask to be better at cultural references*
“Oh yeah! Haha… I wasn’t allowed to watch that show growing up because of the title. It had the word ‘sex’ in it”. I whisper and look around to make sure my parents aren’t there. “You see, I had super conservative parents and being an immigrant… Especially in the early 2000’s… Blah blah blah… But it sounds like my cup of tea. Especially at this point in my life!”
In an attempt to do better on my part as a feminist, and a person who hates watching from the sidelines when any cultural references are made, I recently attended a 20th Sex and the City anniversary event with single girls, Cosmopolitans and cupcakes. I learned a lot about the show and it’s impact on the western culture, but the highlight of my night was meeting a beautiful young woman through a friend, who sparked a purpose back into my life:
The three of us proceeded to take our seats, with hands full of cupcakes, drinks, popcorn (it was an after-work event and we were starving… Don’t judge) and our phones with the camera App on stand-by to capture the night. We cheered and clinked our double cosmopolitans to being single and began briefly discussing our sex lives and our dating fails before they turned the lights off to talk about sex lives and dating fails.
“None of the cute guys on Apps are over their ex’es” was the discovery of the night, but the highlight of my girls-night-out was when this gorgeous, Sex and the City fan in her twenties told me she was on a dating cleanse.
“What’s a dating cleanse?” I asked stupidly (I blame the double-cosmo on an empty stomach for not connecting the dots here. It must have traveled into my bloodstream faster than the velvety strawberry cupcake that I stuffed my face with once the lights went out. I mean both “dating” and “cleanse” consume and define my millennial existence, so I’m a little disappointed in myself for having asked that question).
“It’s when you stop dating/talking to guys for a while. I’ve decided to be on this cleanse until I finish watching the Sex and the City series.”
Speechless. This is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve ever heard in my life!
The next day I told my sassy best friend at work about this. I said I think I want to give this a try.
“What’s a dating cleanse?”
Having been off and on a no-carbs diet I replied:
“It’s like keto, but instead of carbs and sugar it’s boys”
“Your life is like a romantic comedy. I’m so jealous”
Then he proceeded to ask about every single guy I currently talk to and how I would break the news to each and every one of them (he went through the list in alphabetical order – yes, he’s very invested. #blessed).
Huh… There’s more of them than I thought… So I began messaging a few here and there, saying I needed to focus on myself for a while and wasn’t looking for anything at the moment.
I’ve had 5 days to think about how I’m going to execute this experiment (and find a way to watch Sex and The city online because it’s not on Netflix). I realized texting on my phone all day has been a total waste of time. Instead of yearning for so much attention and validation, I could be listening to podcasts, WRITING, working out (ugh), and watching Sex and the City! But first, I need rules and boundaries:
I figured a cleanse is supposed to be a challenge you try to overcome. It’s not supposed to be easy… Have you ever ordered a salad from a pizza place? If I can go off of carbs and sugar for weeks, then I can live without validation and instant gratification for a while too. So for me, it’ll be everything that consumes my time on a daily basis. It is all those random conversations I’m having just to feel good about myself (mostly about the way I look). It’s mindlessly swiping on Bumble at night when I’m bored. It’s calling dibs on cute work people (actually scratch that one out. That’s taking it too far. There’s nothing wrong with having imaginary work boyfriends).
Starting tomorrow, I’m going on this beautiful journey to Netflix without the chill, to work out without posting gym selfies, and to stop replying to anyone who slides into my DM’s. Because “the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all, is the one you have with yourself.” – Carrie Bradshaw
The Married Girl On Bumble 